We just started a new project: ‘Navigators’. For this project we have to explore an aspect of the city in pairs. My partner is my fellow Humanities follower Nayana (https://neithernullnorvoid.home.blog) and I am excited to work together with someone doing the same thing I am supposed to do.

For the research trip we went to the Museum of London and the Barbican. I have never been to the Museum of London before, so that was exciting and interesting. The museum showcased the history of London and how the city has changed over time, from the Neolithic to the state of the city now (and even speculation of the future).

I didn’t really know where to start engaging with items at the museum for the project. There were many interesting artefacts and bits of history (the Great Fire of London I found highly interesting in particular), but I think I got a bit too overwhelmed with the project weighing heavily in the back of my mind. In the end I barely did any research that could contribute to the project. Going to the museum however made me realise just how much history London has and how much I don’t know. It also made me realise once more how much I love this city. I do feel like the museum could have gone more in depth into several important topics, like race and nationality. Of course, I do understand that discussions of topics like those might just very well not be possible in a museum meant to be accessible and for everyone, especially with a subject as large and complex as London.

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After the museum we went to the remains of the city wall behind the museum. It was absolutely amazing and breathtaking to see so much history in one place from various ages tucked away in a quiet corner of London. London has many abrupt quiet corners where the city suddenly opens up and gives you space to breathe. I really loved that and the weather was a major plus point. Nayana and I then went to get lunch and after a long moment of indecision on both of our parts, we settled for some food from Leon. I did find a butcher and sandwich shop which I really want to check out later.

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The Barbican was another beast altogether. I have only been there once before for the ‘AI More than Human’ exhibit (for the Manifesto project actually). The place is a confusing mess of brutalist architecture and contrasts. The boundary between public and private space was thin. While the Barbican Centre was open and visited by many people, there were areas that were completely devoid of life, which made me wonder if I was welcome or even allowed to be in there. I did love the water and plants outside especially the seated areas under water. (It vaguely reminded me of The Netherlands, that with it being below sea level :’))

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We were advised to research the environment through writing many small things and do challenges like: write for 5 minutes, write only in short sentences, write only about the smells or sounds, etc. So we challenged ourselves to just write for 5 minutes straight in several locations around the building. Afterwards we compared our works. It is so interesting to see how the two of us work and think so differently, which just makes me more excited for what we could produce for this project. I really like Nayana’s way of thinking and writing. It feels more structured, clear and cohesive and smarter than my own. I think our different approaches could result in an interesting final outcome for this project.

I found writing these small pieces and writing in this manner so freeing, especially after the more structured academic writing we had to do for the Manifesto project. I don’t write like this usually; I mostly sit in front of my laptop and pray for beautiful words to appear on screen. Edit, re-edit, copy and paste, smashing my keyboard in frustration. Write the perfect sentence or be doomed. So, in that sense it was amazing to be able to just write without overthinking any of it. Below are the writings from my notebook, as well as a typed version (so it could actually be legible). I will also comment on them: what I felt worked, what I could explore, and learn from etc.

Barbican writings

Write what you observe, they say. Semi, quarter circles on the floor. Chopped up pieces trying to be whole. Ripples, like water droplets. Craters. Black holes. The walls are rough. The floor on the wall. Lines to cross the sea of wood. Pieces fragmenting into even more pieces. Or maybe becoming big. Becoming more whole, rather than smaller. Multi-coloured ceiling lights. Squares that lead me down a path. To the theatre. The floor, more inviting than the other axes. More comfortable. Sound of clash. Sounds that clash. Fragments of an exhibit I saw. A fan. The dragging of stuff. The jingle of chains.
The Barbican -1 floor.

This was the first bit I wrote at the Barbican. When we started, my eye immediately got drawn to the floor. The floor consists of small rectangle tiles of wood with beautiful rings creating a rippled effect. It was also interesting to see the contrast between the rough walls and ceiling and the beautiful floor. I also tried to write about other sensory input, but I feel like in the process I haven’t been able to properly convey the feeling I got in the space, as it was quite empty there. It is however really interesting how we both got drawn to different things, as Nayana got drawn to the use of orange and gold and the lighting, something I didn’t even really notice.

Frobisher Lift East, Frobisher Crescent, EC2
The sunlight casts light onto brownish reddish tiles. The air is cool. A hum of machinery. Open areas in a place seemingly cold and industrial create a contrast, like warm sunlight juxtaposed by cool air in the shade. High contrast situation. Customer communications. Words in fonts all different. Library floor VIP room for important, very important readers. Empty, yet alive. A giant curve making a corner. What is behind it? People behind glass. Away from me. I am alone. The walkway is quiet. The space in between is nothing and I am walking there. 

I am not super happy with this writing, but I do see what I think I wanted to achieve towards the end of the piece. If I had more time, I would have made the piece about the space I was walking in acting as a weird no-mans land in-between places. A space where you exist, but also gives you the feeling that you cease to exist, as that is what I felt like walking there. (Or maybe I am just bad at handling eerily quiet spaces.)

The Barbican conservatory on the one hand does just that: conserve. Plants of various sizes reside in there. Yet, it gives me a feeling so dystopian. 'Without humans, we still live. We will live where you reside. We don't need you.' The plants seem to say that and it is true. This vision reminds me of a dystopian world I imagined, where London was covered in vines and trees. Beautiful, yet bleak for those who are Homo sapiens sapiens. The quiet of the corridor only accentuates this eeriness, yet when the silence got disturbed part of me wished for human annihilation, just to enjoy the peace of it all. But looking outside this conserved bubble, I see other buildings of glass conserving us. And I know we are here to stay. (Un)Fortunately. 

Not much to say about this piece as it ended up being basically what I intended to write in the first place. I would have liked to elaborate a bit more and it also ended a bit abruptly, so I would have liked to add a bit more writing, but besides that I don’t really have any comments on this piece. It’s not super original, but perhaps alright.

How unfortunate that our field trip happened to be on the day my period started. The day has been alright overall, but a couple hours ago horrible cramps started and I've been suffering since. I took an ibuprofen, a rapid one even, and the pain still presides. Even sitting out in the sun I cannot feel as much joy as I would generally. The sun is just too bright. The breeze is just too cold. The sunlight is just too hot. I tire and I thirst and I just want something sweet and lie down in self-pity, even though I don't want to be like this at all. The Barbican is just too grey too orange too green too brick too concrete too quiet too busy too eccentric too brutalist too old too new. It is just a bit too much. Or maybe it is me that is too much. In fragments I can find joy and beauty everywhere. At least until the next cramps hit me. 

For this piece I just wanted to complain about period cramps and hold a pity party for myself.

Final thoughts:

I wish we did the writing challenges we did at the Barbican at the Museum of London as well, as I am interested to see what I would have written about the pieces at the museum. I think I shall adopt this research method for any future outings and other things, as I really enjoyed doing this and to engage more with creative writing.

I learnt a lot from this exercise. It is a way to approach writing more intuitively and I will definitely experiment more with small challenges like these. It also makes me realise just how certain vocabulary gets stuck in my head and how I use and re-use words and phrases. Perhaps I need to start reading more again. :p